It can be easy to say that words are just words. Once you’ve said them, it’s like they evaporate into thin air and leave no real impact on the world. This way of thinking, however, is in fact far from the truth. Once you’ve said it, there’s no taking it back. Maybe you’ll feel bad or apologize, but those words have been spoken.
It’s the same for body language; your motions and facial expressions aren’t just random actions that don’t matter. They are powerful, strong and enduring. They have the power to lift someone up and make her feel special. They can also knock someone down and hurt her deeply.
Let’s see how this applies in a few different situations:
HOW ARE YOU?
Let’s say someone asks you, “How are you?”
If you answer, “Absolutely amazing!” with a big smile on your face that adds a sparkle to your eye, how does that make you feel? How does it make you feel about the type of day you are having? What impact could you be having on the other person’s day?
Let’s say you answer, “Terrible!” with a big scowl on your face and a sigh. What type of message are you sending yourself about the type of day you are experiencing? What emotions are you sending both throughout your body and into the world?
Let’s say you answer like this most of the time. How does it leave you feeling? What about the people with whom you are speaking?
YOU ARE …
Let’s say you tell someone over and over that she is wonderful, amazing, smart and beautiful – and you don’t just say it. Your eyes sparkle with each word. Your heartfelt smile lets her know how much you care and mean what you are saying. How would she feel? How would YOU feel?
Let’s say you tell someone over and over that she is hopeless, stupid and ugly. Your eyes penetrate right to her core with their anger. Your sharp tone makes her feel small and insignificant.
Just words? Hardly!
Just a little facial expression or just your tone of voice, no harm done? Maybe it’s time to think again.
Pay attention to the words you use and your body language.
What messages are you sending yourself with your words, facial expressions and movements?
What messages are you sending others?
How would you like to change that, starting right now?
By: Elizabeth Spevack